Ruben

 Ruben is my first born. He is very special of course but also because he took such a long time to conceive. Mark and I tried for over four years to have him.  I had all manner of invasive tests which concluded in a diagnosis of "unexplained infertility" and even delved into naturopathic remedies to try to improve my chances of having a baby. My cycles were regular, I didn't have any known issues, my husband's sperm count was great; no one could explain why we we couldn't have children . 

Eventually we went to see a fertility expert in Melbourne and he suggested I start what is known as a controlled cycle where hormones are injected (I had to do this myself as my husband has a phobia of needles) and then they took an ultrasound of my ovaries and predicted when I would ovulate and we made a date to see the specialist for artificial insemination with my husband's sperm.

Normally this procedure has a very poor success rate and the specialist insisted that we didn't get our hopes up but we were heading up to Queensland and the moment we dropped in to see my mother-in-law I knew something was different. She was chopping up basil in the kitchen, a good ten metres from where I was standing, and it smelt as if it was right under my nose and I felt a bit queasy.

By the time we got to Noosaville my period was late so I went and got a test and lo and behold, I was up the duff. I rang the specialist's clinic straight away and the receptionist was so excited to tell him the news.

I remember having to tell my friend Kate and also Chrissi because, well they were my drinking partners, so I entrusted them with this information. They were very excited and managed to conceal my non-drinking from fellow workmates.

Then I remember how excited everyone was once I was able to announce it at work.

Everyone was telling me I was having a girl. I was so round they told me. They did the ring test - a piece of hair with a ring twirling on it. You are definitely having a girl they told me.

I didn't feel like I was having a girl at all. I kept visualising a boy growing inside me. I didn't want to know the sex of the baby though so it was anybody's guess. I remember getting the baby name books from the library and nothing really jumped out at us. At the time I was listening to Radio National every night on the drive home from work and they played a song by Ruben Gonzales and that was it. I wanted to call the baby Ruben if it was a boy or Sarina if it was a girl.